Elegant Breakups

Is there a pleasant way to have a breakup? I guess ‘pleasant breakup’ sounds like an oxymoron but indeed there are cases when one can break up without generating tremendous amount of negative feelings. As is often the case, to simply disappear or not answer requests for even talking about it, is also not the right way to handle a breakup. After all were you not with this person engaging in some of the most intimate things imaginable, and now you do not even want to get face-to-face with that person? (Related: Breakup for the first time)

I should, however, clarify that there are exceptions to making elegant breakups. While you should always maintain a pleasant demeanor (mean behavior does not help anyone), it is perfectly acceptable to let your disappointment be known when the person has hurt you by cheating or otherwise breaking the rules of the relationship. Such honorable behavior might earn you the respect of your partner and also make her/him realize the gravity of the situation. In fact an approach like this might even make the relationship work again. As Dr. Robert Huizenga, author of the book “Break Free From The Affair” points out, “80% of those who divorce during an affair regret the decision and over 75% who marry partners in an affair eventually divorce.”